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I get it. I think. Do I? I don't know.

It may seem at times that the words that come onto this blog, repeatedly, are all depressing, and emo, and shit. Andw ell, that's because a very large portion of my day-to-day thoughts are fairly depressing. But also because I supress them, and let them build up. And it's hard. For me to admit... Sometimes. How weak I am.

I get it.

You don't care. And that's fine. That's perfectly acceptable. But. Why. I dont get why. I never knew it could hurt so much to care about someone. I never knew it could hurt so much to not be cared for by someone you dearly love. I feel abandoned. I feel betrayed. I feel like I scrwed up. I feel like somewhere down the line...

Fuck its let's be honest. That somewhere down the line is always. I always screw up. I always fuck up. I don'tget it. I don't know what else to do. It hurts. To feel so alone. Futility hurts. I don't know what to do. But Give up.

So this is me. Giving up.