I Still. Don't know. Who I am?

I want to know. I want to be ok with the answer. I want to be ok with myself.

But I just looked back, and y'know what I found?

I'm nothing. I'm a failure. And my life amounts to one big failure of me failing to do a damn thing properly. At what point can I stop trying? It's tiring. I can't. I can't keep moving forwards like this. Not like this.

I know people say that I'm doing decent, and that I've worked hard. But it's not. Not enough. I've never achieved a single thing I /wanted/ in life. Not a one. I always have to settle for third, or fourth best. I'm absolutely terrible. I can do better. But I never do. I always sabotage myself, on purpose or not. And it's terrible. And I'm terrible.

And I'm tired. I'm so tired.

Can I. Take a break yet?