"I'll be coming home, just to be alone"

Home - Three Days Grace

Sums up what I'm thinking about my winter break. But not what I'm thinking about atm, I guess. I just turned on Pandora and those lines blared at me and omg the feels and nothx.

So. What AM I thinking about? I don't know. The Ash thing is still bothering me to dicks and back. Like, not actively, but whenever she's mentioned/I run into her it just flares back with strong senses of wtf is going on here and just ugh. I don't know. I want an out.

And as far as everyone else on campus... I don't really know. I don't know where I belong, /if/ I belong. I don't know if anyone even gives two fucks about me around me. Correction - I do know: They don't. Is that depressing? I don't think so. I don't care about anyone with the exception of a couple people. I don't know why or how or what or ugh just... Brain, why you asking me why to all these things?

I'm sorry. To everyone. For being me? I don't know... Angst, angst everywhere.

Dear self: You're not a teenager anymore, you have real life bearing down on you with the force of a thousand fucking Touhou Extra Stage Bosses. Man up.

Ugh.